


It's your birthday (so I know you want to ride out)

by RogueWolf



Category: RWBY
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Birthday Sex, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Lapdance, M/M, Rimming, Surprise Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 06:32:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6412822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueWolf/pseuds/RogueWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's James' birthday but he hadn't planned on celebrating it. He's been too busy to even worry about it but, luckily for him, he has friends who care about him. They care about him so much, in fact, that they hire him a cop strip-o-gram who is <i>exactly</i> James' type.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's your birthday (so I know you want to ride out)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IronwoodisBae (CommanderBaewin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderBaewin/gifts).



> And here's my last fic for the Ironqrow Smut War! Had to go out with a bang, right? And what better than strip-o-gram Qrow?
> 
> Thanks to IronwoodisBae for the prompt. For the ones I didn't get to, don't worry! I'll still write them up, I just wasn't able to get them in under the deadline.

“You sure we need mushroom?”

James eyed Tai. “It’s chicken marsala, Tai. Yes, you need mushrooms.”

Tai sighed and tossed the box of wrapped mushrooms into the cart. “They’re fungi, James,  _ fungi.” _

“And they’re good for you,” James said, reaching out Tai to grab another carton. “Why did you pick this recipe, if you hate mushroom?”

Tai ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly. “Summer really likes them. And Raven’s been on this ‘try new food’ kick, which includes  _ mushrooms _ .”

James couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, at least you can’t go wrong with chicken marsala.”

“I hope not,” Tai replied. He slung an arm around James suddenly and gave him a half hug. “Thanks for helping, it means a lot.”

“It was no problem,” James told him. “You know I don’t mind helping.”

“Yeah,” Tai grinned, “I know.” He stepped away and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So, what’s next on the list?”

James looked down at his index card. “We need sherry. And stock.”

“Right!” Tai marched off down the aisle, leaving James to follow behind.

 

 

* * *

It took them longer to find a parking spot than usual. James had to circle the street three times before he spotted a car pulling away from the curb and he darted in before anyone could take it. Tai looked up from his phone and blinked. “Oh, hey, nice spot.”

It was a nice spot. James was right in front of his apartment; usually he was half a block down. 

He and Tai got out of the car, Tai snagging all the bags before James could pick up a single one. “You drove and you’re going to teach me how to cook,” Tai said in reply to James’ raised eyebrow. “I’m fine carrying the bags.” He set off towards the apartment building’s door before James could respond and James shook his head and followed. 

Tai chatted excitedly during the entire ride up in the elevator and kept up a constant stream as they walked down the hallway to James’ door. He paused when James unlocked the door and pushed it open, only to pause, frowning.

He had two lamps that were programmed to turn on once dusk set in, and a small nightlight in the hallway that was always on for Penny. His apartment should have been filled with light; his apartment was pitch black. 

He reached out and flipped the lightswitch next to the door and then froze, his eyes wide as the room erupted. 

“Surprise!”

James stared as his friends popped up from behind his couches, tables, chairs. They were all grinning at James, their eyes bright with excitement. 

“Happy birthday!” Tai said from behind James, and then pushed past James to put the groceries down on the kitchen table. 

Summer pranced up to James, beaming. “Happy birthday!” She wrapped her hands around James’ and tugged him closer into the room. “Come on! We made a cake.” James shut the door and let her pull him into the apartment. 

They hadn’t decorated - none of them were good at it - but there was a small stack of roughly wrapped presents on the kitchen counter, next to a white frosted cake, adorned with chocolate shavings and strawberry slices. 

“Ta da!” Summer bounced away from James to peer at the cake and then looked up at him. “Raven and I made it!”

“You made a cake?” Tai peered at Summer around James’ shoulder. “You?”

Summer rolled her eyes. “Ok, fine. I sliced strawberries and grated the chocolate. Still means I helped.”

James smiled at her. “It’s lovely, Summer. Thank you.”

Summer smiled back. “You’re welcome!” Her pocket chimed and she pulled out her phone. “Winter and Raven just got out of the elevator.” Her phone chimed again, “Oooh, with visitors.”

Tai hurried over to the door and opened it to reveal Winter and Raven. “Hey!” Tai said. Winter waved and Raven leaned over to kiss Tai briefly. 

“Hey,” she said, “look who we found.” She stepped aside. 

“Asper! Pearl!” Tai smiled widely. “You were able to make it.”

“As if we’d miss James’ birthday,” Asper said. They winked at Tai. “And cake. I heard that Raven was baking and I absolutely had to come.”

Pearl scoffed quietly. “Like I had to drag you over.” She looked at Tai and her eyes warmed. “It’s good to see you. But where is James?”

“Ah, sorry.” Tai said sheepishly. He moved so they could all come in and closed the door. “He’s in the kitchen with Summer.” He wrapped an arm around Raven’s waist and pulled her close. “You guys did an excellent job on the cake.”

“Yes,” Raven said smugly, “we did.”

 

* * *

It was the most fun James had had in a long time. He’d been so swamped with work for the past few weeks that he hadn’t had a chance to actually relax. He hadn’t even planned on celebrating his birthday - hadn’t even thought about it if he was being honest with himself - and seeing the effort everyone had made to come out and celebrate with him left him awestruck.

They’d been partying for almost an hour; Summer had brought her laptop and synced it up with James’ sound system to blare dance music, and Raven and Tai were dancing together in the middle of the living room. James was on one of the couches with Asper and Pear and Winter, another plate of cake in his hands, when there was a firm knock on the door. 

James startled and looked up, fork halfway to his mouth as he stared at the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone. 

Before he could get up, Tai was there, opening the door to talk to whomever was in the hall. James frowned - he couldn’t hear them over the sound of Summer’s music - and it was rude to make Tai answer his door. He placed his plate down, stood up, then froze as Tai stepped aside and a cop walked into the room. 

James stared. The cop’s pants were too tight; they were hugging legs that went on for forever and, as he turned, James saw his ass, firm against the outline of his black pants, and James  _ wanted. _

“Can I help you, officer?” James asked, dragging his eyes - away from the ass he wanted to taste - up his chest to linger on lips that were ridiculously red, almost as if he had just been biting them. 

The cop flashed a friendly smile. “Depends. Are you the owner?” James nodded and the smile curved into a smirk, the cop’s eyes glinting mischievously. “Then I’m here to help you, buddy.” He stalked towards James, his hands busy undoing the tie at his throat, and then he was ripping away his shirt, leaving him in nothing but those tight, tight pants and his hat, with its outrageous black and white checkered band. 

The room erupted into cheers and James stared, horribly confused and feeling like he’d missed something important. 

Tai winked at James, mouthed, “Surprise!” and James finally realized that his friends had hired a stripper. For his birthday. 

“Hey,” the cop, no stripper, man? - James didn’t know what to call him - said and reached up to wrap his fingers around James’ tie. “I’m just here to dance,” he said quietly, so only James could here. “If you get too uncomfortable, tell me, and I’ll stop. Sure, I was hired to perform, but,” he tilted his head, “boundaries are important, ya know?” He tugged lightly on James’ tie. “We can stop anytime, ok?”

“Ok,” James said breathlessly. Then, with a daringness he didn’t think he had, he wrapped his fingers around the other man’s and squeezed. “Don’t stop.”

The stripper flashed a bright smile. “Roger that. I’m Qrow, by the way.” He tugged James down until his mouth was against his ear. “Feel free to moan it as often as you like.” He took a step back and winked. “Or scream. I’m good with both.”

“Now,” he said, addressing the whole group, “let’s get this man a chair.”

There was another cheer and then Summer and Asper were coming up behind James with one of his dining room chairs and then he was sitting down, staring up at Qrow. Qrow had his eyes closed; he swayed to the music and then arched, his hands sliding down his chest and hips. He opened his eyes and looked at James. “There’s only one rule,” he said seriously, “no touching without permission. Got it?”

James nodded and Qrow grinned. “Alright.” He ran his hands back his body and James discretely slipped his hands under his thighs to keep from touching. Qrow hummed and then he was dancing. The music had changed from Summer’s fast paced dance music to something slower, something that had Qrow moving his hips in wide movements, his eyes hooded as he caught his bottom lip between his teeth.

_ ‘It's your birthday so I know you want to ride out’ _

James started when he heard the first verse and he thought he heard Summer laughing behind him, but he quickly forgot her when Qrow swayed closer and swung a leg over James’, holding himself up with the chair arms so that James could feel the heat of him, but nothing else. Qrow swayed his hips, back and forth to the music, and James hissed. Qrow glanced up at him from under his lashes and his lips curved up. “Been awhile, handsome?”

James nodded sharply and then sucked in a deep breath as Qrow pressed himself harder against James. “I’ve been busy,” James gritted out. He could feel his cock straining against his underwear and a part of him marvelled at it; he’d never gotten this hard this fast.

“You should never be too busy to take care of yourself,” Qrow murmured. He thrust his hips forward and James let out a strangled noise as Qrow brushed against his cock. Qrow hummed and then thrust again, even slower, so that James could feel the slide of Qrow’s body against his own; the friction made him wish he had his hands on the chair arms, where at least he could grip something, but James refused to move, uncertain whether or not he’d break Qrow’s one rule if his hands were free. 

“This makes me feel a little bit better about the whole set-up,” Qrow told him as he went back to circling his hips above James. 

“What are you talking about?” James asked. 

Qrow ground himself down and then bounced up, and James felt like his cock was going to explode. “I hate to say it, but this isn’t my best lap dance,” Qrow said with another bounce. He lifted his hands from the chair arms and trailed them down his chest to his groin, cupping himself and thrusting into his hand and against James. “Usually I take this slower,” Qrow said over James’ groan. “I like to take my time, make you feel everything.” He undid the button his pants and slid the zipper down, revealing a strip of red fabric. James stared as Qrow tucked his thumbs into the hemline of his pants and slowly tugged it down, revealing another thin line of red. 

“I’ve got ten minutes with you,” Qrow breathed against James’ ear, “which means this is going to have to be faster than I like.” He swung his leg back over James and stood in front of him, kicked off his shoes, and then his hands were sliding his pants further down his legs as he danced to the music. He tossed the pants away and James swallowed hard when he realized that Qrow was wearing nothing but a bright red G-string that didn’t hide how hard he was. 

Qrow gently nudged James legs apart and then turned his back to him. He placed his hands on James’ thighs and crouched until his ass was against James’ pelvis and he rolled his hips up and back in one sinuous movement. James groaned and almost jerked his hands free so he could wrap them around Qrow’s waist but he remembered at the last moment and kept them in place, his body trembling with the effort not to move either his hands or his hips. 

Qrow leaned back, arching his back and tangling his hands in his hair as he ground back against James. He thrust his hips back and forth and James gasped as Qrow’s ass rocked against his cock. Arousal shot through him, liquid fire that made James’ nerves sing. He realized a second later that he was gasping - quick, short breaths that made him feel lightheaded - and Qrow slowed down, circling his hips above James and thrusting back, only to bounce up, his ass jiggling against James’ cock.

He was going to come, James realized, in his pants, as though he was a teenager again. He could feel his gut clenching, could feel his toes curling, and then there was a beeping noise from Qrow’s pants and Qrow stopped his movements immediately. 

“Well,” he said, turning his head over his shoulder to look at James, “looks like your time is up, handsome.” He pushed himself to his feet and walked away a few steps, leaving James to sit there, head spinning as his body protested the abrupt lack of sensations. 

“What?” he panted. 

“Your time’s up,” Qrow repeated patiently. He was holding his pants in one hand but made no effort to put them on. He gave an easy shrug. “I had fun but you need to understand, I was hired for ten minutes, and ten minutes only.”

James stared at him. “What if I want more than ten minutes?”

Qrow smiled, slow and dangerous. “Then you either need to pay my fees or,” he dropped the pants and surged forward, pressing his lips hard against James’ and kissing him until James moaned. “I’m off the clock now,” Qrow said when he pulled back. He nibbled the curve of James’ jaw. “And I wouldn’t mind moving this to a bed.” He kissed James again, slower this time. “And we’ll see how fast I can make you come.”

James didn’t have to think twice. “Bed,” he growled, and then - finally - wrapped his arms around Qrow, hoisting him up and kissing him. Qrow laughed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around James’ waist, thrust against him and James gasped. 

“Looks like it’s not going to be that hard,” Qrow teased. “You really need to take more care of yourself, sweetheart.”

“James,” James muttered. “My name’s James." He glanced around the room, only then realizing that it was empty; his friends must have left right after Qrow arrived. 

“James,” Qrow sounded out his name. “I like it.” He rubbed himself against James and James shuddered. “Well,  _ James _ , I suggest you start moving or we won’t need the bed.”

“I’ll show you bed,” James said, and then he was walking down the hall, Qrow nibling and licking at James’ neck, and he could feel arousal shiver through him again. And then they were in James’ bedroom and he sat down on the bed and let himself fall back, Qrow on top of him. James ran his hands down Qrow’s body to his ass, cupping and kneading until Qrow moaned against his neck. 

“I want to taste you,” James whispered, and Qrow glanced up. 

“Ass or cock?” He asked matter-of-factly. “I’m clean either way.”

James swallowed. “Ass,” he said, and felt his neck flush as his voice cracked. But Qrow just nodded and rolled himself off James to sprawl on the bed, his cock straining against the thin fabric of his G-string. 

“How do you want me?” 

James swallowed again. “On your back,” he said nervously, “your legs over my shoulders.”

Qrow grinned. “Sounds good to me.” He fingered the red line of fabric cutting across his hip. “Help me?”

James nodded and then he was tucking his fingers into the string and pulling it down while Qrow arched against the bed. When it was off, James tossed it aside and gazed down at Qrow, eyes wandering across his body and then focusing on the patch of dark hair and the cock jutting out proudly to curve against his stomach. He licked his lips and Qrow chuckled. 

“That’s not my ass,” he teased. 

“I know that,” James said. He bent over Qrow, buried his nose in the dark curls and licked gently at the base of Qrow’s cock. 

Qrow jolted beneath him, his hands darting to grip James’ hair. “Fuck,” Qrow moaned, “fuck, do that again.” James obeyed and Qrow’s fingers tightened in his hair. “I want your tongue in me.”

“Ok,” James took a deep breath. “Ok.” He settled onto the bed and slid his hands under Qrow’s legs, lifting them up so Qrow could hook them over his shoulders. “Pass me a pillow?”

Qrow handed James one of the pillows that were lined up against the headboard and James slid it under the small of Qrow’s back before spreading his ass cheeks. He looked at Qrow’s hole, twitching slightly, and then he buried his face between Qrow’s spread cheeks, pushing his tongue in with no warning. 

Qrow shouted, his hips jerking and James moved with him, thrusting his tongue in and out of Qrow’s hole in quick, short flicks. He felt somewhat ashamed that he wasn’t taking it slower but he had no patience left. His cock was pressed against the coverlet - the heavily embroidered coverlet - and each time he moved his control slipped a little more.

Qrow keened as James pulled his tongue out of him; he spread Qrow’s cheeks wider and then he was nibbling and pressing sloppy kisses against Qrow’s rim. James thrust his tongue back in, pushing as far as he could, curling and flattening and Qrow cried out, his hands fisted back in James’ hair. James hummed, Qrow’s sharp tugs sparking little explosions through his body, and Qrow moaned and pressed James even closer until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

And then Qrow was tugging at James desperately; James let himself be pulled up and Qrow kissed him, licked into his mouth and sucked at his tongue until they were both moaning. “Switch me spots,” Qrow gasped, and James rolled off him to lay on the bed. “Why are you still wearing your pants?” Qrow complained, and then his fingers were at James’ pants, undoing the button and zipper and it was James’ turn to arch his hips so Qrow could yank his pants and underwear down James’ legs. James hissed as his underwear rubbed against his cock and then Qrow was tossing his pants to the ground and staring at him wide-eyed. 

“Shit,” he breathed. “You’re all metal.”

James’ cheeks flushed. “I was in an accident when I was younger.” He waved his metal hand at Qrow. “You didn’t mention anything about it earlier.”

Qrow was still staring. “You’re not the first person I’ve met with prosthetics, Jimmy.” He reached out and placed his fingertips on the metal of James’ thigh. “You’re just the only one I’ve met whose prosthetics are this advanced.” He ran his fingers up the side of James’ cock and James sucked in a breath. “You can feel that?”

“Yes,” James said, his voice a little ragged around the edges. “Sensory calibrators. They help me feel everything at a similar level as my flesh counterpart.”

“I like it,” Qrow said. He looked up at James and James was taken aback by how wide his pupils were. “I like it _ ,”  _ he bent down and kissed James, “a  _ lot.” _

He crawled up James and then straddled his chest. James watched confused; Qrow glanced over his shoulder and winked. “Remember what I said earlier?”

James frowned. “You said a lot of things earlier. I don’t know-” His voice cut off abruptly as Qrow wrapped his hand around James cocked, stroked him once, before bending over and swallowing James’ cock.

_ “How fast I can make you come,”  _ Qrow had said earlier, and it wasn’t going to be long at all. James’ arousal had been silent while they talked, but with Qrow’s mouth around him, hot and wet and  _ eager _ , it roared to life, stealing James’ breath away so that he was left panting against the bed.

Qrow bobbed up and down James’ cock and his ass rose up and down in front of James’ face with his movements. James reached up, pulled Qrow’s down - Qrow whined - and then James sealed his mouth back over Qrow’s entrance and sucked and Qrow shouted around James’ cock, making James shudder beneath him. 

He was thrusting into Qrow’s mouth now, his tongue matching his rhythm, and Qrow was moaning constantly, his mouth and hand working frantically around James’ cock. James shuddered again and slammed his head back against the pillows. “Qrow,” he groaned, “I’m close.”

Qrow didn’t say anything, just hollowed his cheeks, sucked, and James had just enough presence of mind left to wrap his hand Qrow’s cock and stroke him; Qrow groaned and then he  _ hummed,  _ and James lost it. His hand faltered around Qrow, but Qrow laced his fingers through James’ and, as Qrow swallowed around James, as James rode out the flash fire of his orgasm, Qrow stroked himself until he was shaking and whimpering and coming all over James’ chest. 

Qrow pulled off James and rested his forehead against James’ thigh, panting roughly as he fought to catch his breath. James patted Qrow’s hip awkwardly and Qrow rolled off him to flop onto the bed. 

They stayed like that for a several moments and then James smiled wearily. “I have to admit,” he said, reaching out to rest a hand on Qrow’s leg, “that was probably the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten.”

Qrow snorted. “You make it sound like it’s a competition.” He raised his hand and gestured vaguely behind him. “Have you seen my ass?”

James choked, coughed, and then he was laughing. Qrow shoved at him with his foot but James ignored it and laughed until there were tears in his eyes. At some point, Qrow had twisted so that he could stare at James, completely unimpressed. 

James finally stopped laughing, his breath wheezing slightly as he wiped at his eyes. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” Qrow said dryly. 

James bit down another burst of laughter. “I had my tongue your ass,” he said, his eyes bright with merriment. “I think it’s fair to say that I have more than seen your ass.”

Qrow narrowed his eyes and James felt laughter bubbling up in him again. “Ok,” Qrow finally said, “I guess you have a point.” 

“Wait for a little bit and I’ll more than one point,” James said cheekily. 

Qrow blinked at him and then grinned. “Oh, I like you all blissed out.” He crawled up James and pressed a kiss to his mouth. “You say such the sweetest things.” Qrow settled on the bed next to James, flinging an arm over James’ chest and tangling their legs together. “I’ll wait,” he said. He circled his finger around the metal nipple on James’ chest and James sighed and shivered. 

He brought his hand up to rest atop Qrow’s, turned his head until he could kiss the tip of Qrow’s nose. “Good,” he said, “I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

Qrow laughed. “You should be more worried about me not letting you go.” He dragged his teeth across James shoulder. “I plan on keeping you for a long time.”

James swallowed, hearing the possessiveness in Qrow’s voice, and decided he was more than ok with this. 

**Author's Note:**

> [You can find me on tumblr here](http://roguewolfprints.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> Based off Bae's prompt: James' friends plan a birthday party for him without telling him what they have in store. So naturally, James is surprised when the 'entertainment' for the night turns out to be a cop(QROW) strip-o-gram
> 
> The song playing is "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih.


End file.
